Life So Far

• Born 3oth May 1986 - a happy baby.
• Sister is born 11th December 1987 - the misery begins.
• Parents divorce when I'm 5, or 6, or 7 years-old, something like that. Having 2 bedrooms is okay, but I have to share both of them with my sister.
• All years up to age 11 are a bit of a blur.
• 11 years old - start secondary school - wonder if I was always so different to everyone else or if school somehow changed me.
• 16 years old - realise I'm not actually different to everyone else; sink into another bout of depression. Decide I want to be a teacher. Lose 2 stone on Weight Watchers.
  
• 18 years old - meet my Boyfriend. He's great. Sleep with him lots. He's way older than me, but I don't care. Mum is devastated. Move in with him and fall in love.
• 19 / 20 years old - 2 years of happiness. Gain 2 stone.
  
• 21 years - gain another 2 stone. Complete my English Literature degree and start my PGCE in English.Boyfriend has a heart attack. He survives and asks me to marry him. I say 'Yes'.
  
• 22 years - Qualify as a teacher and get my first job. Gain another stone. Decide to get married on the 9th April 2009 in Las Vegas. Begin Weight Watchers.